On handling negativity.
by littlemissfuneral
I’ve learned a lot of important lessons while being a funeral director. Lessons that I don’t believe I would have been blessed with in my young age if it were not for the career I’ve chosen. I’m forever thankful for that.
I’m learning a lot of other lessons through sharing myself and my journey online.
I was just going through some of my old posts when I came upon one comment in particular in which the person who wrote it had nothing good to say about me. Honestly, it got me down.
That’s the thing about openly sharing things through the internet. You’re inviting people in. These people are only getting a glimpse of who you are and what you do. And like my mama always says, not everyone is going to like you.
I feel like people read what I post because they’re curious. I’m a funeral director and that’s not a common career choice. I’d be curious too, if this wasn’t my ‘normal’. But people don’t like me. I’m not saying that people don’t like ‘Lauren”, but people don’t like “Lauren the Funeral Director”. They don’t like me because I represent one of the worst experiences of their lives. I am an evil necessity.
After reading this particular comment and feeling low because of it for a moment (or longer, let’s be real) I quickly realized that this person was judging me for a mere glimpse into who I am as a person. They have no idea who I am, as a whole. And I could let their words bother me, or I could shake it off, because one person’s opinion on me does not define my worth.
I’m going to keep sharing my ideas and experiences so I’m going to continue to invite people into my online world. But I hope, that I can invite in more people who think deeply about their lives and their mortality. And my wish, is that these people would think a little harder about how they live their lives. I hope, that I inspire people to hug their loved ones a little tighter and say “I’m sorry” when they’re wrong. I hope that these people talk to their families about their own final arrangements, so when their time on this earth is complete, their family is a little more prepared.
There are always going to be people who don’t like you, but do you know what’s awesome about that? Their negativity is not your problem. If someone holds hurtful words or hatred in their heart, they are poisoning themselves, not you. These words can only hurt you if you let them. So pick yourself up and brush it off, because you are amazing! You hold the power to change lives, so be the sunshine on a person’s face, not a cloud over their head.
You can like me or hate me, but I know who I am and I’m proud of the women that I’m constantly becoming. And eventually, you’re going to need someone like me who is involved in the death care industry. (But hopefully, that’s not for a very long time.)
You are correct that some people are negative, or as I describe it, “They are not happy unless they have something to complain about”.) Since we come into people’s live at a very emotional time, everything gets exaggerated…the good and the bad.
Think about this: You probably have already met with a family that had several people, usually children, who all think that they should be the primary decision maker. When you are dealing with those emotions (and all the back stories that you don’t even know about), someone in that family is going to think you are a God-inspired genius because they got their way and at least one will think you are an insenstive moron, only because they didn’t get their way with their siblings. There are ways to mitigate those family messes, but as I’ve often said. . . There is only one family named “The Waltons.”
No matter what you do, someone will find something negative to say about it….human nature.
All that to say Lauren, there will be times that those comments hurt you to your core, but as a friend of mine explained to me, “you don’t have to be in other people’s movies and live their drama”
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I would not let one or even a few negative comments get you down. You could be saving puppies from sharks and someone would have something negative to say. When you put yourself out there you have to be prepared for the trolls to come sniffing around. It appears to me that the overwhelming majority of the comments are positive so keep it up. You have found yourself a unique little niche. Don’t stop the good work and informative posts.