I am about to embark on my Funeral Services training here in Portland, OR. Its been a nagging me in the back of my head to do it for years.. might I say its been a dream? I’m not sure if that is fitting. I will read every letter of your blog but I would love to hear from you as to how it is in the business for a woman. The average Funeral Director here is a 56 year old man.
Let me know If I could pepper you with questions also..
Natalie, first of all congrats! Please feel free to email me any questions or comments that you have at firstname.lastname@example.org 🙂
Hi Lauren! I recently graduated from mortuary school and passed my Nationals as well. I know exactly what you meant when you said that you feel school is sort of disconnected with the realities of the job. I haven’t started my career full-time yet in the industry. I honestly feel pretty intimidated that even though I graduated and passed, I feel like I don’t know very much about the field. I did my two year apprenticeship but I feel overwhelmed about going out on my own. How has your career been this far? Any advice on what to expect in jumping in full-time? What is a fair salary for full-time right out of school? Please let me know what it’s like! Thanks, Ryan
Hi Ryan! I honestly cannot complain about my job. Believe me, there have been ups and downs over the past five years, but I cannot imagine doing anything else with my life. Being a funeral director is so rewarding and at the end of the day I really feel as if I have made a difference. When I got my first job, I was seen as the low man on the totem pole, so I often did a lot of jobs that others didn’t want. It was not fun, but looking back it actually helped me because I learned a ton. I have done everything from cleaning the funeral home and taking out the trash to embalming, meeting families and now leading my own funerals. I am so thankful that I have such a well rounded knowledge of this field. As to salary, it really depends on your employer, however it can sometimes be compared to teachers right out of school. I hope this helped 🙂
Lauren! Thank you for responding to me! I never thought I’d actually get a response! Where are you located (state is fine) Where did you graduate from? Ry
I live and work right outside of Buffalo, NY. I went to school at the New England Institute at Mount Ida College in Newton, MA.
Little Miss Funeral,
First, let me say that I adore your blog. I am about to start mortuary school in the fall, being 25 myself, its nice to see the perspective of someone of a similar age. I love that you post your outfits, you are definitely providing me with some great ideas for how to build mine for this career.
I am scheduled for an interview later this week to hopefully set up an internship, that will coincide with my schooling, as is the requirement in NJ. I was hoping you might be able to offer some direction as to how to best interview with a funeral home, since this is a new experience. I’ve always worked in bars and restaurants, so I pride myself on my adaptability and customer service, hopefully that will prove advantageous.
Any guidance would be appreciated.
Samantha,honestly, just be yourself! I went to go speak with a funeral director to get advice and he ended up offering me a job on the spot. Since you have experience with people I don’t think you’ll have any trouble selling yourself! This job is mostly about how you interact with the community and the families you serve. And just remember, there are a lot of funeral homes out there and every one will work just a little different. The right fit for you is out there, just be true to you.
I live in MA sort of near that school!
I loved my time in MA. It’s such a beautiful state and Boston…oh my goodness I can’t say enough about that city!
Thank you for your response. I ended up getting the internship!! 🙂
Thank you so much for allowing others to read of your experiences. You are a young person and have had the blessings, or misfortune, of serving those whose family and friends have passed. I am a family physician and a former director of a hospice program in Texas, so I have an inkling of understanding what you experience on a day-to-day basis. I am also grateful to know that you have a loving family who supports you. I also hope that you are taking this experience in riding like a surfer on a wave without allowing yourself to be submerged. Again thank you for sharing this. I enjoy looking forward to future posts.
I am so glad I came across your blog!
I just got a job working for a funeral home in my city as a member of the retrieval team. Before this, I have only had jobs that required uniform attire.
I have plenty of black, knee length, conservatively cut COTTON dresses, but I have been told cotton is not professional.
I simply don’t have the funds to purchase a new work wardrobe, and I am panicking a bit. Would black cotton dresses work??
If it doesn’t look like you’re going clubbing you should be good! When I was starting out (and had very little money) I shopped a lot at Forever21. You don’t need expensive clothes to be professional! Invest in a few basic pieces, a pair of black pants, a black skirt, white button up. Relax! You’re going to be great!
Excellent all around, Lauren. I’m in the midst of writing my third novel, in which the female protagonist works at a funeral home. Of course, I was wondering if I might consult you from time to time on the everyday goings on of your chosen profession..
email me any time 🙂 email@example.com
I saw your speech and panel at the OFDA convention. You did a wonderful job. I had a question for you that I didn’t get to ask at the panel and was unable to locate you later in the day. I am in school to be a funeral director but before I decided that this was what I wanted to do I got a bunch of tattoos. A large chest piece a upper arm sleeve and a forearm sleeve. None of them are distasteful in anyway. I was wondering if this will hinder my ability to get a job. Your opinions would be appreciated.
Haylee, first of all thank you for the kind words! As to whether or not your tattoos will hinder your ability to secure a job in the future, I don’t think it should. Our outfits as funeral directors are very traditional, and a staple in our wardrobe is the suit which should cover most of your art pieces. And guess what? If your employer can’t see past your tattoos to see the awesome person that you are you don’t want to work for them anyways! I know an amazing funeral director who has a neck tattoo and she always wears a scarf so there are things we can do to cover when need be. You can’t loose you in this job, remember that!
Hi. Just found your ‘blog while working a Saturday office gig at a local funeral home. Have graduated from mortuary school but do not have embalming credentials, only funeral directing. Studying for state boards. Anyway, I wonder some days whether I’m biting off more than I should. I have kids, a husband, and around these parts it’s mostly men in the funeral biz. It’s been hinted to me that without the embalming creds I won’t be employable or as valuable. It’s also been hinted, when the male funeral directors talk about their day, that the hectic life might be one I should “think about.” Trying to not feel discouraged, but also don’t want to ignore reality. Look forward to reading your older posts. Thanks for the ‘blog. You’re a rare voice.
Thanks for reaching out Mae. It is a hard job, but one I love and one that I hope you’ll love too! Something that I learned early on is not to let anyone intimidate me or make me feel like less of a funeral director for what I do or don’t do. I know I make a difference in the lives of the families that I serve and that keeps me going when times are hard! Good luck on your journey!
Also, how do you handle the actual heavy lifting that comes with first calls, casket transport, etc.? It’s been suggested to me that women aren’t suited for the profession because they’re not physically as strong as men.
I know my strength! I know what I can and cannot do and when I cannot lift I ask for help. Casket jacks for moving caskets, body lifts for transporting bodies into caskets help a TON! There are some things I cannot do but that’s why we work as a team.
I made removals while in college back in the early 80’s, I learned a lot about the business.
Checking back in after not visiting Little Miss Funeral for a while. What I enjoy and admire so much about the blog is-even though it is so specific to such a specific industry, the points you make are universal and applicable to all careers and situations. I’m still a huge fan!
Thanks Nina 🙂
Congrats on the wee one. I had a slight suspicion. I’m an apprentice/student in a 1 year online program and a friend of Kari Northey. Keep up the good work!
I saw your YouTube video on the death of babies. I have to tell you it was very moving and touching to see how you explain your emotions it’s sending these tragic situations. Me and myself and creeped out about death and people that deal with the Dead. But you’ve changed my perspective on is that. You really care
You have to excuse this phone it doesn’t type what I intend. What I meant to say was people who deal with the business of death always creep me out. I always thought they were weird and ghoulish. But you’ve changed my perspective. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I wish you all the best sweetheart. Thank you for educating us. Your fan John.
Hello Lauren, I had a question, I attended a funeral for a clise friend and when it came time for the burial she was not set on straps to be lowered into the vault, she was lowered by hand with straps and they lowered the feet first then the head, i was wondering if she shifted in the coffin at all? It sounded like something happened inside but the coffin lid was never opened to check. The workers just continued with the burial. What is your opinion on this? I am worried she is not resring comfortably.
I just started my new career in the funeral service industry! I am a funeral service practitioner and embalming apprentice. I have been surrounded my death my entire life and just being in a funeral home feels like the right place for me to be. My family and husband were very weirded out by it at first but now they can see how happy it makes me. I could see myself doing this until I die. I’m so glad I found your channel. If I could pick your brain and ask you a few questions please email me. I know you are really busy!
Hello! I stumbled across your videos because my son is interested in mortuary school next fall in Colorado . We have no experience in this industry and I would appreciate any advice you would have for someone embarking on this career. Thank you!
If he could contact funeral firms in your area and ask to shadow for a day I think it would be very helpful. Tell the funeral director that he’s going to school but wanted to see up close what the job looks like. I saw an embalming before I went to school and it confirmed in me that I wanted to do this!
Hi Lauren! I am so happy to have found your YouTube channel and blog! I live in NY too on Long Island, and I just got my first job in a funeral home as an assistant/greeter. I have ALWAYS wanted to see if I have the skills and mindset to be a funeral director before going to mortuary school. Finally at 25, I have the perfect opportunity to do so at this job. So far I am progressing really well with my training but constantly worried about talking to grieving families. Do you have any tips for going about that? I’m worried I will say the wrong thing, or offend someone, or just make things worse, so I wind up staying quiet even though I want to reach out to them and help. I know this is a big part of being a director so I figured asking for advice was the best way to go! Also, I started thinking about making my own channel to document my journey through school and my new career, you’ve been an inspiration for sure, I would love some advice on making videos as well! Thank you!
Have you ever had to direct a funeral when it was suicide??
I have just recently come across your YouTube channel and blog. As a death care enthusiast, I was surprised to find someone new on the internet to learn from.
After starting to go through all of your videos and some blog posts, I felt called to send you a message specifically after watching your video ‘Complaining About Complaints In The Funeral Industry’ because you really shared some truth and shed some light on the cost of funerals and the behind-the-scenes that people truly don’t understand.
I have been very lucky in my 30 years on this planet to never have had to meet with a funeral director and coordinate a plan for a loved one’s funeral, though I have been to many funerals in the past. This is to say that my general knowledge of the funeral industry has been acquired through books, YouTube videos and blogs such as yours. I am always interested in hearing different professionals ideas, job details and general views on death and the industry as a whole.
I really want to express my gratitude for individuals like you who indulge us who like to ‘peek behind the curtain’, so to speak, and to provide information for people who work in the funeral industry or are hoping to in the future.
I am currently a stay-at-home Mom but part of me feels like I could one day follow this passion of mine and work with families to help them through difficult times. Until I feel that taking those steps is feasible, I will continue to watch, read and admire your work. You are a special person putting out important information and I hope that you will always see your value and continue to teach people about everything that comes with dealing with death and the families and friends left behind.
Thank you. Thank you, so much.
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