little miss funeral

I’m pretty proud of myself for all of the blogging that I did in December. Although I didn’t blog on Christmas Day (I was boycotting it to spend all of my time with family),  twenty-four consecutive days of writing was a new experience for me.

December was a difficult month.

It is normally a month filled with joy and anticipation for Christians as we reflect on the true meaning of the holiday season. Instead as many of you know, my family suffered a loss five days before Christmas. And later, on the last day of the year, a friend passed away.

It’s the pits.

Being surrounded by death day in and day out should prepare me for these losses. Instead, I find that I am filled with disbelief and grief just like anyone else. Being a funeral director does not mean that I am immune to grief. Instead, it means that I have a different understanding of the road that lies ahead. Instead of ushering others down a path of a new way of life, I find that I’m whispering words of encouragement to myself.

I have verbally told myself that I am okay throughout this entire process. It hurts. It’s unfair. But I will be okay.

Keep telling yourself that you’re okay. Even if you don’t believe it. It’s already been seventeen days without my aunt and six days without my friend. If that’s not proof that the sun is still rising every morning than I don’t know what is.

With this new year will come new joys, hopes, disappointments and grief. It’s the nature of this thing called life. I just pray people become a little more understanding and a little more compassionate. We never know the burdens others carry on their hearts.