Why you will always be with me.
The other day, after a visitation, I went over to the son of the deceased to see how he was doing. He told me that he was holding up pretty well, surprisingly, since he had actually been dreading the passing of his father since he was ten years old. (He was probably in his sixties, now.) He then asked me if I had ever thought about things like that when I was a kid; my parents dying. And I have.
I think that when we’re young, we all have this sense of fear that something will happen to our parents at one point or another. And for me, I have thought about my parents passing away from a young age. Maybe I read too many stories on the Baudelaire children with Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events. Maybe I always just had a sense that life is finite. But still to this day, I dread the day when I have to say good-bye to my parents.
To me, it’s a weird thought. One day, a person that has been there for me though every event, will be gone. Of course, on the other hand, it’s a normal thought. As children, we are supposed to bury our parents, not the other way around. But after talking with this gentleman, I started to really think about losing my parents again and how I would feel when they’re gone.
When the time comes, I will be a mess. There is no other way to put it. My mom and dad are two of my best friends. I can go to them with any problem I’m having. My dad and I have the same sense of humor and my mom and I are basically the same person, just 30 years apart. I am blessed because I carry physical traits from both of them. My strengths are a combination of their strengths. I’ve gotten my ‘story-telling’ ability from my father. My ability to put together an outfit comes straight from my mom. And I’m able to connect with others and speak to people while looking them in their eyes due to years of watching my parents. As a matter of fact, everything in which I am is because of them. So when the time comes to say good-bye, although I will be a mess, I will also be okay.
I am half of my mother and half of my father. In my eyes, the perfect combination. I’ve learned to live and love from them. And I will carry them with me for the rest of my life.