As I sit here typing away I’m surrounded by tissues, Ginger Ale and Advil. Yeah, you guessed it. I’ve got a cold. And as I sit here coughing (very unladylike) and sneezing (like I’m allergic to my dog) my head starts to spin. One could assume that it’s from the medication or it could be from me freaking out about not being able to go into work.
I’d like to say that I’m not a work-a-holic, but maybe I am. I guess it’s kind of hard not to be one when you’re a funeral director. Your job kind of swallows you up into this world where you believe that you’re the only one who can help families. Mom died? Funeral director Lauren to the rescue! Dad is in Hospice and you need to come in to prearrange a funeral? No fear, Lauren is here! You see, being a funeral director can be a very rewarding career because funeral directors can do things that other people cannot. And that can be enough to keep you going. That feeling can make all of the bad things in this job good. But it can also eat you alive.
My cell phone just went off and do you know what I did? I stopped typing, stopped my thoughts on this blog and went over to the other side of my room and checked it. Now normally, my phone would be right next to me but I currently have it charging. This is the kind of life I’m living. I’m living the life that when my job calls, I answer. And then I get sick.
My throat feels like I was practicing swallowing swords. One minute I was sweating like I ran a marathon and the other minute I felt like I just did a polar bear plunge. Oh, and you know those commercials that show those mucus bugs that talk about taking up residence in your nose/lungs? Yeah, I have an entire family inside mine. And it sucks. It sucks because I literally just feel like crap. It sucks because when I get sick I become super baby and want my mommy to make me soup and for Josiah to buy me super soft tissues. It sucks because I can’t go into work and help out families that are going through harder times than I am. It just sucks.
If I had a normal job I wouldn’t feel like I’m letting others down. If I had a normal job I’d probably jump at a chance to take a ‘sick day’. But I don’t have a normal job. I have a very not-so-normal job. And right now the only thing that can help out any future families that I may serve is for me to get better. Because as they are grieving the loss of their loved one emotionally I’m positive that they also don’t want to be feeling the way I feel physically. And now it’s time for me to take some more medicine and go to bed and for me to finally kick this cold’s ass. Because so far it’s Cold- 2, Lauren- 0. I don’t like losing.